Escape to Chaos - Alasna Doan

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Escape to Chaos :: Characters :: Original Characters :: Alasna Doan

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alasna
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Alasna Doan
« Thread Started on Oct 21, 2008, 9:07pm »

Name: Alasna Doan

Age: 27

Gender: Female

Affiliation: Neither (Space Pirate)

Blood Type (ABO): B

Physical Appearance: Alasna stands at a height of 5’ 9’’, she has a statuesque body, though well muscled from physical labor aboard a bustling ship. She is slender at the waist and has long legs. She has a round face, a small nose and large eyes. Her hair is waist length and very thick and curly, dark brown in color. Her eyes are an even darker brown and in low lighting look black. Her skin is not overly pale; it more closely resembles the color of sand.

Clothing: She mainly wears a translucent copper colored undershirt. Over that is a crimson colored shirt with long sleeves, the bottoms of the sleeves have a black border and there are no shoulders. She has an eye-patch she wears over her left eye that is gold except for a red skull and crossbones design, although it’s not really necessary and purely decoration, she slips it down around her neck when she needs both eyes. She also wears a black choker with a ruby pendent hanging from it. Her pants are dark yellow with a burnished orange border on the bottom and styled like Capri’s. She wears a comfortable (yet stylish) pair of boots with a fold at the top in two colors, the top is red and the rest of the boot is black. (http://frostysnowflake.deviantart.com/art/Alasna-101242140 Here’s an example I drew.)

Equipment: She duel wields both two swords and two pistols for whenever either is necessary. The swords are appear ornamentally decorated on the hilts and are designed as sabers. The hilts are looped around and encircle the hand when wielded and are gold filigree hammered into the metal; a delicate flower design covers the top. The actual blades themselves were tempered with a material that gives them an electrical charge, contained by her sheaths, but when unleashed the energy leaps around the blade. Her pistols are laser equipped and are a gold color with a black border (painted) she mainly uses her guns for distance and the swords for close range fighting.

Vessel (captained or served): Alasna is the captain of the pirate ship DragonHawk which is a stolen Owl-class that has been upgraded with weapons to the teeth and powerful engine upgrades. The side has been painted with a Jolly Roger. Otherwise, it is equipped with a transmitter/jammer so that it can intercept communication between ships for the best opportunities to strike.

Personality: She has a very fiery personality, slightly sarcastic, and mostly a goof off manner. She can be serious when necessary, but that is not often. Occasionally she sees fit to ‘talk like a pirate’ and says yarghh matey after every sentence when she’s in the mood. Her main facial expression is a mischievous grin, a sly one, or a feral one. She is surprisingly charismatic and people find they are drawn to her energetic attitude.

Personal history: Her mother died right after her birth and her father blamed her for it. She was born in the slums of station 07 that could be found on any station if you looked hard enough. So, her father naturally was a drunk and had a tendency to beat her when he got in a particularly foul mood. She began thieving at a young age; mainly pick pocketing, to feed herself. Occasionally she would pity her father, but only the few times he was sober. One night she came home and her father was more drunk than usual, he had lost his job, and therefore, his booze money. Older now she no longer felt the need to take a beating and instead reached for a kitchen knife as her father charged her. When he tried to throw a punch at her she ducked under it, fast from running from the authorities and stabbed him in the heart. That night she fled her home with a few of her possessions and all of the money that had been in the house. Before she left she used the rest of her dads’ alcohol to burn down their house.

It was becoming problematic to find honest work while keeping away from snooping do-gooders. To remedy this she decided to go with the most un-impressive, far away job she could find. She signed onto a titan merchant vessel as a ‘deck hand’ helping out with any lifting that needed to be done (although not much until she grew up a bit), cleaning the ship, and helping the cook prepare the crews food. She was mostly left alone, no one took much interest in her and she led a quiet existence aboard the ship between the ages of 13 and 15. On one of their voyages pirates attacked and managed to force a board. Instead of fleeing or cowering in a corner she sneaked aboard the vessel among the cargo being stolen. When the pirates had left the ship barren of goods and were far away they began sorting their loot and found her. She was brought before the captain, who decided to spare her for ‘guts and spunk.’ She had much the same job as she did on the merchant vessel aboard the pirate ship except she was taught to fight and didn’t have to follow all of the useless regulations the merchant vessel had enforced. Up until she turned 19 it was like this. The day of her nineteenth birthday she went on her first raid, showing a vicious streak that left several guards dead in her wake. She was highly praised for her efforts and was cut in on the goods. Before she left at 23 she went on several more raids, slowly becoming rich with her share of the profits. She used most of the money she earned on her swords. Striking out on her own with the captains blessing she ‘procured’ her own ship and crew and spent the last five years building up her wealth and reputation.

Sample Post:

The monitors beeped and buzzed around her while she sat at her chair in the middle of the flight deck, as she had named it. The transmitter flashed and Scott Hansen, her first-mate and navigator pressed a code into it. Immediately the speakers around the room flared with sound, a merchant vessel was close and ripe for the picking. She smiled viciously and turned to Scott. “Alright Scotty, send the coordinates to Jeff (the pilot).” Scott sighed as he did what he was told, turning to Alasna. “Cap’n I’ve said before, please just call me Scott.” He knew it was pointless arguing this with her, but it still seemed necessary. Most of the time this conversation turned out exactly like this:
“Hey Scotty, who’s the captain of this ship?”
“You are mam’m.”
“So who gets to pick out nicknames for the crew of said ship?”
“You mam’m.”
“That’s what I thought, now shut up and get back to work.”

Scott did just that, sending a constant stream of data to the pilot for use in the upcoming battle. As soon as they were close enough to fire their weapons at any time Alasna called in to the ships main deck, to speak to their captain. “This is Alasna, captain of the ship DragonHawk, allow us to board or we shall be forced to blow you into the depths of space.” As soon as she said the customary ‘greeting’ that had become her calling card she motioned to one of the men on the guns and he fired a warning shot, barely hitting them, but sending a clear message. A nervous sputtering came from the open line and Alasna laughed loudly, several of the crew joining in. They didn’t even have to fire another shot off and the captain of the attacked ship allowed them to board. The boarding party soon rounded up all of the passengers and took control of the ship. Alasna walked up to one of them and said to him “If you would please good sir, I need the code to your storage room.” She was all smiles at this point, a raid going very well so far. The man, a boy really, still in his youth, spit on one of her boots and she scowled as he said. “You’ll never get me to tell you.” She kicked the boot he had spit on into his face and drew one of her swords, arcs of electricity sending weird shapes into the air. She stabbed the blade through the young fools hand and watched in satisfaction as his body jerked and spasmed. Stepping back she smiled cruelly at the sight of him writhing on the floor in agony. Turning to the rest of the passengers she spoke to them all. “Anyone else want to be a hero? Because I prefer getting this over with now.” Not a single person voiced anything indicating heroism so she continued her work. She stepped up to a slightly older, and hopefully smarter, man in his mid thirties. “How about you then, please, its takes more time than I’m willing to give to hack into your storage, so a code would be much appreciated.” The man quickly surrendered and her feral smile returned as the raid reached its conclusion.

By the time the vessel received any assistance she and her crew were far off, celebrating an easy victory.

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Nyx
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Re: Alasna Doan
« Reply #1 on Oct 21, 2008, 10:27pm »

Alright, the Dark side is here...

I'll be completely, brutally honest here Eri, because I know that you can take it. You rushed, and it shows. Next time it might be better to wait for the weekend to make your profile.

Setting my grammar nazi self aside for the moment, I'll work on the character.
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Age: First, she's a bit young. I would recommend that you place her in her thirties, if for no other reason than experience. placing her at 27... do you remember Roleplay Cliches?

Clothing: Is there any particular reason why she wears the eyepatch? Some symbolism? Why would she willingly give up her depth perception so much of the time?

History: (placed before personality because they go hand in hand.)

I'll be brief.

You've made... quite a cliche here. There are better ways to make a pirate-type character than the slums. Perhaps she was originally from a military family instead (doesn't matter which side) and is a deserter? There's a multitude of unmined ideas out there.
The easy life doesn't exist. She's got two militaries after her. Think about it. Also, I doubt that any captain would let a useful crewman just up and leave, much less with their blessing.
Details! Give me numbers for childhood! Give me her recruitment process! Tell me about her interactions with people as she grew up!

Personality: Way too carefree. This isn't Pirates of the Caribbean, Eri. Pirates are ruthless. Lose the Jack Sparrow mindset. Less Kinivira, more Kaala, if you would. Though a sane version would be nice.

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